Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Right Now.

Right now, I am sitting in bed, laptop before me pecking away at the keyboard. The kids are all in the dining room, toys sprawled out across the table. Jack is reading a book on my Kindle. Joey is playing a game on the iPad. And Bella, Johnny, and Grayson are playing nicely together with toys. My husband, Bobby, is watching a new movie in the living room. And while a small part of me feels bad that we are not all together doing some Pinterest-inspired activity, another part of me is thoroughly enjoying the peace in the house.
 I love when they are loving on each other.

Sometimes I feel like I go and go and go, and I'm so busy filling our minutes with things to do that I don't actually get to sit and enjoy the time. So tonight, I am just sitting here listening to my children interact with one another. Listening to the sound of their voices filling the air. Some people do not have this luxury. Every single night before I fall to sleep I say a silent prayer to God thanking him for another day as a mother of five sweet children. I am absolutely terrified that something could happen to any of them, but I cannot allow that fear to paralyze me. Instead, I use it as a reminder that every day is a gift. I will never allow a disagreement to come between my relationship with my children. I will not. Each day that I can, I will be their mother and love them unconditionally.

 Every single day with them is a gift, that's why they call it the present right?

I think sometimes we allow our ideas of how life should be to fill all the space in our heads, and then we forget about the things that matter. The minute little things. The things that fill our lives up each day, but without them we are left with all these little crevices, tearing away at the foundation of our being.

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