Mamavation Monday: What Inspires You?

So today's topic is What Inspires You? Before I joined the Mamavation Community, I had tried repeatedly to become more active, and lose weight. Every time I got to a point that I began to see results, there was always something that would happen that would stop me in my tracks. I would allow it to totally derail me, and then I would be disgusted when I would see the weight come right back.

Back in January, I found myself back in familiar territory. Only this time was slightly different. Over the summer I had gained a few lbs back after working all during the school year to run it off. This past summer we didn't travel to Maine as we had in the past, so the kids and I were cooped up a lot more than normal. I'm a northern girl at heart, and these balmy Florida summers are more than I can handle. So when the school year began again I couldn't wait to get back into my daily runs! However, it just never happened. I got a few runs in each month, but never with much consistency. By the time the holidays arrived I noticed my pants fitter tighter. One day in January, my husband and I were about to go out to breakfast. I felt so stressed out every time I went to get dressed. It seemed like all in a week's time I couldn't fit into ANYTHING I owned. I had a mini-meltdown, crying, tantrum. My husband walked into the other room and waited. He knew better than to patronize me, but he also doesn't understand my frustration because he loves me, no matter what size I am. While I appreciate this (beyond words), sometimes I need him to understand that I need honesty when it comes to my size. A while back my scale had broke, and I hadn't weighed myself. So I went out and got a new scale, and when I stepped on it I was shocked. I was just 8 lbs lighter than my heaviest weight ever. The heaviest I had ever been was when I was 39 weeks pregnant (when I delivered) my 4th child. I was 180 lbs at that time. So here I was, now 2.5 years since having my youngest child and I was 172 lbs. WHY?!?!?! A year ago I had gotten down to about 137 lbs. Then I had gotten up to about 145 and hung out there for a long while. Then suddenly (though not really all that suddenly) here I was in territory I had only ever seen in late pregnancy, EVER. I was never, ever this large, EXCEPT when pregnant. I just couldn't understand how this had happened.

Something needed to change. I don't know if it's my age, or lifestyle, or both. I feel like I am mostly healthy, pretty active. But there are always ways to improve anything we do. So I didn't drink soda....well now I only drink water. So I ran a bit here and there? Well now I run even more, plus do strength training exercises 6 days a week. So I was a vegetarian? Well now I'm trying to eat as clean as possible, eating more than I did before, and trying to make sure my diet i more balanced.  There are definitely ways to improve everything I was doing, to achieve the result I am after.

So back to that little bit about what inspires me.

THIS:

These lil cuties are mine all mine! And they are my inspiration and reason for being. I want to be in the best shape of my life because I want to be the mom they deserve. I want to set the best example of how to live and treat your body that I can. I want them to never know the feelings I have felt about my body. I want them to be active and healthy, so that they never have to struggle the way I have recently.And I want to have the energy needed to always be able to keep up with them, and be happy for them. No one wants a grumpy mama. These babies are my happiness, I want to be theirs.